The fragrance of these roses made my day!

Flowers in our compound during spring!

Four of my Tanjore paintings sitting pretty elsewhere!

A few days ago, on the way to Mysore, we stopped at Channapatna specially to buy those multicoloured wooden toys and other knick knack's....  Above are a few famed Channapatna toys - non-toxic colours,child friendly!

On the face of it - Dementia VS Brain Hemorrhage

ON THE FACE OF IT - Dementia VS Brain Hemorrhage

Fil : Dementia due to plaque collection in the brain (1 of the reasons, I read somewhere)

Father: Brain Hemorrhage and multiple blood clots due to a simple fall one evening.

Fil : No cure nor hospitalization.

Father : Hospitalized for nearly a month, very slow recovery.

Fil : Regular medicines which takes care of his vital organs.

Father : Heavily medicated which causes neurological imbalance.

Fil: Greatest passion now is EATING.

Father: Simply hates to EAT.

Fil: Have to keep a vigil 24x7.

Father: Same as above.

Fil: Doesn’t recognize ME most of the time even though I’m taking care of him.

Father: Recognizes me and unintentionally makes me go completely emotional with his talks.

Fil : Don’t know whether to laugh or cry at his behavior.

Father: Tears come out automatically when I hear him talk.

Fil: An extremely religious man, religiously prays 2 times a day chanting mantras/slokas loudly, repeating it over and again, I have to interrupt and tell him his prayers are over.

Father: An extremely religious man too and starts chanting mantras (slokas) loudly - the minute he is in severe pain.

Fil: Asks me daily whether I came back from Thirumala Tirupathi Temple and where is the prasadam laddus which he wants to eat at once. I bring him laddus from the sweet shop daily and he is very happy to eat them thinking its prasadam!

Father: Tells me, “Achhu(that’s what he calls me), when you go the temple tomorrow, stand in front of the God and pray to him asking him to take me to his feet fast, I have had enough on this earth.”

Fil: Was lost and found last week when he slipped from all our eagle eyes and vanished for 4 hours from the house, luckily an auto guy brought him home after 3 hours of searching for our house in our own area!!

Father: Completely bed ridden.

Fil : Living in utter confusion 24 x 7.

Father: Talking non-stop 24 x 7.

Fil : Care taker – me along with my cook and a maid.

Father: Caretaker – my mother along with a male nurse.

Fil : Craves for his daughter 24x7.

Father : Talks about his children 24x7.

Fil: Calls me a FAIR GIRL (an exact translation from our kannada words), doesn’t know am his daughter-in-law!

Father: He calls me by my pet name, thank God for small mercies.

Fil: Very happy when relatives come visiting.

Father: Very happy too and has lots of his childhood friends who visit him very often, I too sit with all of them and quietly listen in admiration at the stories they share.

Fil : Am with him all the time for all his needs.

Father: I go to visit him daily (rain or shine) and spend ½ an hour, at times helping him with physiotherapy exercises, massaging his hands, talking happy things - about various poojas and temples he would visit etc.

Fil: Daily I get him hot sweet bun from his favorite bakery.

Father: Shop for my mother because she is held up at home.

Fil: Take him for a monthly check up in my new car.

Father: Have made countless rounds to the hospital when he was hospitalized in my new car. Why do I use the words ‘new car’…. Coz I had never imagined I would be doing hospital rounds.

Fil: Met his neurosurgeon with his scan reports etc and continue to do so.

Father: Met several of his neurosurgeons at different stages of his treatments and am continuing to do so.

Fil: Has a big time argument with my 70 year old cook on a daily basis.

Father : Some argument with my mother daily.

Fil: I have to be the mediator and tell my FIL is right always!

Father: I have to tell my FATHER is right always!

And life goes on………

ME : After reading the above you can well imagine what am going through (No self pity please). Apart from being with my father-in-law and father, I can’t help being myself!!!! Habits die hard, I suppose. So, I eat, drink and make merry…. Drink, did I say? Coffee.... what else…haha!!

Have relatives visiting me often, my son Anirudh’s friend’s come home daily, so I get a mixed dose of some family gossips as well as some Bangalore city youth’s carefree attitude, it’s a heady mixture at times!

FACE BOOK: Am active on fb, surprised? Well, this is my stress buster… seeing my friends/relatives happy faces, their outings, their joy, their parties etc and reacting to it is a soothing effect in itself!

Not to forget the various poojas, temple visits, celebrating festivals, cooking my father-in-law’s favorite dishes, meeting my school friends, going out shopping with my sister and brother-in-law, forgetting the world while playing with my grand daughter (actually my sister’s), going to music concerts and a whole lot of other things.

There is not a day my eyes become moist thinking of the two different ways of old age sufferings and how it has robbed them of their dignity.

It saddens me no end to see helplessly my loved ones suffering. 

One has to go through the grind with whatever the best medical care one can get, life does not spare anyone I suppose.

One is eagerly praying for death to happen.

The other one simply exists oblivious to the things happening around him.




With this I end my ON THE FACE OF IT, the thoughts which I had to pen today.

(This was written on the 22nd of July 2012)

An Experience to write

So many things are happening, I am at a loss as to where to begin... re-locating, re-settling, home coming... call it what you may, the change is huge in all terms. From a calm, easy, pollution free, no noise absolutely place to a noisy, not so fresh air, 3 lane traffic in front of our house is what makes me compare each and every thing to the life in Bahrain.

Dawn breaks and the milk boy rings the bell indicating that the milk is delivered!
In Bahrain, there is no one who delivers milk at your door step every morning, "Almarai milk, I miss you!"

You have to be up and about by 6 in the morning at least; someone or the other will ring the bell invariably! It can be the garbage colleting woman, the paper boy or your friendly neighbor with an early morning tip!
In Bahrain do we have any of these?

My very own two legs are my Honda CRV! Did not understand? Well, everything is available at a stone's throw from our house…. you go walking and do shopping!
In Bahrain, the minute I step out of the house, I sit in my jeep and play my favorite Mohammad Rafi/ Kishore Kumar songs and off I zoom..... But here.... no no... Go walking; everything is round the corner.....missing my four wheel drive… I have to hum to myself some golden oldies but can’t guarantee hearing my own voice in this entire din!

The concept of cleaning the house is entirely different with the maids here. Without getting into detail, much to my maid's horror I had to teach her my way of cleaning the house! When I told her something which I cannot write here, her hand went straight to her mouth in astonishment!!! 'Well woman, learn to clean my house my way...or else.....' I thought!
Miss my maid back in Bahrain!

Forget to bring something from the nearby super market? Oh no! Go walking again and bring the item if you need.
How convenient is it to call the cold store guy back home in Bahrain at any given point in time! Missing my cold store.

I walk into a nearby Reliance Store. Pull a trolley and walk in. Going near the vegetable section, I look for a cover to put vegetables, I select brinjals, put them in the cover and promptly put them in the trolley, THUD, it falls to the floor!!! OMG! There is no bottom in the trolley!! God! Did I pull a defective trolley, I look around, the others have something red in theirs.... O red baskets.... one has to place a red basket in the trolley!!!!! How could I ever know this? In Bahrain I walk into any supermarket and pull a trolley and that’s it and here there is a gaping hole in all the trolleys where we have to keep a red basket before we shop! I felt very foolish and looked around to see if anyone had noticed my foolishness in dropping my vegetable cover in the gaping hole.... thank God everyone looked busy hunting for their own stuff!!!! My first super market experience. Haha....huh!!

Now let me look for toilet rolls (psst... psst... I ones I had brought from Bahrain will last only till this weekend), couldn't find any and walk towards the counter and ask them where can I find them and lo! To my horror I am told that they do not have it at all and do not sell them in their store!!  How do people clean their....err... toilet culture is different in India?!

HELP LINE - my sister - 24x7
Dial dial dial...'Hey Reliance don't sell toilet rolls?' I almost yell.
'Go to Food World or any chemists', I hear her saying very calmly.
'But it has started to drizzle', I say.
'Never mind, it’s just a block away, if you need it you have to walk baby', she says.

Fuming with disbelief I walk to the nearest drug store.
'Excuse me, do you have a toilet roll' I ask craning my neck in between two heads.
Everyone turns back and looks at me!!!
'Hey, did I say something wrong', I think.
The shop keeper says, 'Yes'
'O, what a relief', I think.
'Give me one big packet', I say.
The shop keeper looks stunned and turns his back and pulls out one toilet roll packed in plastic and looks at me.
I say, 'No no, not one tissue roll, but I want a whole packet of it, say a dozen'.
By now everybody else in the shop are looking at me.
The guy replies in kannada, ' No ma, we don't have a packet of tissue rolls but each one costs Rs.56'.
Again my thoughts raced to Bahrain, 'OOOOO, I used to buy a long packet of good quality rolls for around  2 Dinars and here they don't even have a set of tissues but have single ones packed separately and look at the quality, the paper is so rough!
'OK, give me 4', I say.
'Big or small', he asks?
'O, it comes in 2 sizes, is it? Then give me 2 big and 2 small'.
I can see in the corner of my eye that an old man standing nearby is thoroughly entertained by this whole tissue business.

Walking out of the shop, I dial my sister's number and take out my frustration on her.... 'What is this, in a city like Bangalore I have to go to a pharmacy to buy toilet tissues? Politely she replies.... ‘This is Bangalore baby and not Bahrain'.... 'O, don't say Bahrain... I will start crying', I say. By now the drizzle has turned into rain and I decide to walk home as it’s just a 5 minutes pace to my home....all the time thinking did I ever walk in rain in Bahrain?

Bang opposite to my house is Reebok Showroom. Five minutes from my house is the popular vegetable market. What I want to say is, people go to air-conditioned showrooms to buy foot ware and buy vegetables on the foot path!!!! 

Well, there is such a good market selling everything and anything else along with vegetables, why don't people discourage these foot path vendors? This is my way of thinking.... now keep quiet and move on... I tell myself.

As I enter the market, I see all kinds of shops with all kinds of goods, if I have to list it here, then this write-up will never end!!  As I pass each vegetable stall, 'Banni maa (come maa), banni maa (come maa), they call me. I pause for a second and wonder why everyone is calling me MAA, do I look like one? Before I could find an answer, someone else yells at me banni akka ( come sister)! Lo, do I look like his sister? Well, I smile and take it in my stride. One smart chap calls out from a florist shop, 'Come here maam, fresh flowers' ... Wow, a sentence in English..am impressed! As I nudge my way in, I stop at a vegetable shop where the veggies look fairly fresh... before I could open my mouth, the voluptuous woman throws a basket at me and tell me to select the veggies..... well... so be it!

In a few days from now I will have lived a whole month in Bangalore! Still have lots of things to write... will keep it for next time....Bangalore surely has a lot of fodder for my articles... 'Am I loving it?' Did you ask? Well......well.... well!

29th June 2011, Gulf Weekly Clipping